Long Talk….

The last 52 days have been life-changing, to say the least.  From the very beginning, I sought to rest, discover spiritual renewal, and a season of remembering during my sabbatical.  Up to this point, I give myself a strong B in the first two areas.  The greatest struggle I’ve had is remembering my calling.  It was hard for me to acknowledge that I had somehow forgotten or misplaced my call to ministry.  I’m not sure how this happened, perhaps it was the stress, burnout, the conflictive state of ministry caused by a pandemic, or the splintering of the United Methodist Church.  For me, the common denominator is not the above list, but not making God’s word a priority.  Yes, I read daily devotionals.  Yes, I read selected passages each day, but what I found was missing, was simply sitting with God’s word daily.  

One of my all-time favorite stories is found in Nehemiah 8.  I love the spiritual revival or awakening that is taking place within every verse.  Ezra and other leaders read God’s word to the people from dawn until noon.  Something, life-changing happened, the people remembered that the “joy of the Lord is your strength.”  

While I was taking an early morning walk, the flood gates of memories opened.  I distinctively remember going to check wild hog traps with a friend in 1999.  I remembered opening different gates, driving through pastures, and, most importantly, having conversations about God’s nudging in my life.  Though there were no wild hogs captured during this trip, I certainly was at peace that God was calling me into ministry, and it was time for me to go.  After this conversation, Amy and I would prepare to leave our jobs, sell our home, and leave our hometown.  

Fast forward 23 years.  I still close every worship service with the same benediction, “Always Remember, Never Forget, God loves You.”  For some, this may seem simplistic, however, I continue to believe that we (especially me) need to hear this over and over and over.  The older I get, the more I am embracing my contemplative side and that’s ok.  I love walking through the yard barefoot, spending time listening to the trees, watching the water sprinklers, and listening to all kinds of music.  These are just a few ways God speaks to me.  Finally, in my remembering, I am rediscovering that my unique gifts and graces are still needed in ministry.  By this I mean, my ability to embellish any story with these two words, “Picture it”, to share more life experiences of checking hog traps, working cattle, hauling hay, and yes, working at Allsup’s. 

Through the gift of remembering, I am realizing the importance of being true to myself and my calling.  These days, I tend to sit with Psalm 23 and Matthew 25: 31-46 more and more, I am learning to be kinder to myself, and being more comfortable with who I am and where I came from.  

May we all be inspired to remember who we are and whose we are!!

Tom